Diary Confessions, Part II
As promised (and inspired by Amy Schumer 's The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo)...I give you an excerpt from my journal in 1998 (age 9 1/2) with footnotes from 2016 (age 28 1/2).
Family Trip to Florida + Marci Korb (bff and pre-teen in crime)
April 2, 1998
Well! I'm on a plane to go to Florida, Fort Myers. (1) Marci came too! So far so good. (2) My mom gave Marci and me a journal and some snacks. I think we're going to eat soon!! (3) We just had some pretzels and some pineapple juice. I don't know what suviners I'll get but I don't care. (4) We're passing the Tennessee River. We only have about a hour which I think is sooo awesome!! I asked Marci and she does toooo!! (5) Me and David are playing peek a boo. It's really warm in here. (6) I had another cup of juice and cookies. Something so funny just happened. David thru Sarah's bunny eraser somewhere but no where in sight and she's so upset!!! You should see her. (7)
- Clearly I was confused on the whole city, state situation.
- A flight to FL is at max 3 hours. Apparently to a 9 year old that is basically forever with endless opportunities for disaster to strike.
- While my enthusiasm for eating has continued throughout my late twenties, my pre-teen metabolism has not.
- Clearly I cared enough to include it in my first journal entry ever. It's not like I even liked the bright pink, Ft Myers visor with green flamingos and matching bracelet that I begged my mom to buy me that much anyway.
- I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.
- When a girl from northern WI flies south of Chicago.
- I actually remember this vividly. It wasn't one of those big erasers, but one that you stick on the end of a pencil. You know, the kind that were essential to any 90's kid's pencil box and were more effective at smearing lead around the page than actually erasing it. Based on the smudges in my journal, my mom gave me a bunny eraser too.
April 3. 1998
Well! (1) To continue our vacation I'm sittin in the car to go to West Palm Beach, FL because we're going to visit my Aunt Lisa and Grandma Zillmer. Then we're going to stay at the W.P.B Hotel. (2) After that we're going to swim in the Atlantic Ocean. Dad's playing really cooool music!! Marci and me are dancing to it, so is David. I think we only have a 45 minute ride at the least. We just went passed a nursery of oranges. Then we went passed a cactus. For breakfast we had bagels and cream cheese. (3) We stayed at the Comfort Inn, a really nice hotel. (4) The swimming pool was great. Oh yeah, I need to remember our room number, it's 220. (5) Well got to go. (6)
- I'm not sure who told me this was a grammatically correct way to start a journal entry (or any sentence ever), but I carried it on well into my teens. #homeschooled
- Abbreviations would also continue throughout my writing. In fact, I am still a big fan of them. YOLO.
- Are we driving through FL or Iowa?? My commentary was as exciting as Joe Buck during a Packer Game.
- A really nice hotel meant it had a comfortable pull out couch and bagels with cream cheese at the continental breakfast. Seriously though, I love my parents for making family vacations a priority, even back then. I'm sure Comfort Inn was lit in it's prime.
- I've kept a log of every other hotel number I've ever stayed in, just in case you want to see it sometime.
- Honestly, I was 9. I didn't need to be anywhere.
The Fun at the Atlantic Ocean (no date)
It was great! I've been burping for at least 7:00-7:35. We're going to eat pretty soon. Marss and me are talking about a new club this summer. We're thinking of having a club and inviting some girls and talking about places we've been. (1) At the ocean we body surfed. David is so sick I just hope I don't get it. (2) He's been belching up liquids and chewed food. (3) He's roly poly on the bed (4). Grandma got us sand toys and Aunt Lisa got us Barbies that comes with your own size ring. But guess what, it doesn't fit so I put it on the Barbie's leg. Tomorrow is Grandma Zillmer's birthday.
April 5, 1998
Well it's been a so/so day. There's been so many diapers being passed around that I'm going grandanuto. (5) Thank heaven's I'm not sick. My ear feels really weird. (6) We're going to the Lion Country Safari. Dad is playing a pretty cool, quiet song. Marci and me and Sarah are all tired. (7)
A few hours later...
Today I'm not going swimming and we're not going to Lion Country Safari. Instead we went to The Sheraton Sand Key Resort in Clearwater Beach. Guess what? What?! Marci got the flu, then I got it. That's when I knew that I was not going to be writing anymore in my journal. Got to go, bye.
- Because a bunch of 9 year olds are so well traveled. So much to talk about.
- Not only would I get sick, but the flu spread violently throughout our entire family.
- If I interpret "roly poly" correctly, this is extremely unfortunate considering the said belching.
- Not a word, but I'd still use it in a game of Scrabble.
- If your 9 year old ever tells you that their ear feels funny, it's best to assume they are delirious from illness and are about to vomit everywhere.
- If your 9 year old ever admits to being tired, it's best to assume they are delirious from illness and are about to vomit everywhere.
April 11, 1998 Last Day :(
Sorry for not writing. I was sick and so was the rest of my family. Yesterday we went on a pirate cruise so I didn't have time to write. (1) The day before that my dad, Marci, David, and me all went to the aquarium. (2) I'm sorttah disappointed that we're leaving. (3)
- I was too busy with all of the boot-legging, ship plundering, and rum boozing to attend to my juvenile diary.
- My enthusiasm for aquariums as an adult is unchanged.
- Sorry Dad, it really was a great trip. I was maj disappointed.
Fortunately this is just the beginning of my drama filled, pubescent journal entries. Stay tuned folks.